So I just came back from a business conference in Phoenix, AZ where I was honored to be speaking as a finalist for Businessperson of the Year.
We each had around 30 minutes to present to an audience of 1000+. I went last.
The first two speakers were amazing.
In fact, the first speaker, Janette, literally had folks in tears. Her story was truly amazing.
The second speakers (they were partners) were full of energy and very fun. They started a healthy vending machine company that’s poised to do some really great things… very soon. When you see one pop up in your area, you’ll know what I mean!
I went last. I talked about my story and how I started Hearandplay.com with $70 at 17-years old in my grandma’s apartment. I then talked about some of my philosophies and how I’ve managed to run a successful business for nearly 11 years.
At this point, I thought I did great! I hadn’t got anyone crying like the first speaker but I certainly delivered the most content. So it was up for grabs.
Tons of people came up to tell me how much they enjoyed the presentation and that I had won their vote. Gosh, I must have shook at least 300 hands that day! I was exhausted. The signs were good!
(I should add, just making it to a finalist in this event meant we were all winners and we even talked about that amongst ourselves. It was a very supportive environment and all of us felt it could be anyone’s title).
But then a few “experts” that I knew from years back approached me! “Ahhh Jermaine, my vote went to you but the first gal’s got this! I’m rooting for you though!”
Then another guy jumps in, “you needed more emotion! You had the facts and the philosophies but you didn’t make anyone cry!”
Then my dad, who was standing next to me says, “yeah J, that’s what I was talking about. She had a hole row of women crying! I don’t know J!”
Of course, this was all in fun. I didn’t take them too seriously nor did I take myself too seriously. But who leaves 3 kids and a wife, and travels to the next state over NOT to win right? :-)
So I start doubting myself.
“Maybe I should have done this or that” … “Maybe I should have left that out” … “Maybe I should have did more of this or that…”
“Should…” “Should…” “Should…” (a very bad word when used like this).
Up until that point, I felt great receptivity from the audience. I had shook so many hands. I knew I gave people what they wanted. They were coming here to learn how to have successful, prosperous businesses and I believed I dug deep to deliver this from my many years of experience.
But still, I let folks talk me into doubting my decisions despite my history of having done literally hundreds of talks, presentations, and even sermons.
And when they announced my name as winner, guess what?
Those same folks came marching up saying, “Jermaine, I’m glad I was wrong.”
But the lesson wasn’t for them — the lesson was for me!
(This wasn’t the first time this happened. It took me back to 2007 when I was involved in another conference that crowned a “Business of the Year.” The same thing happened. And I won there too.)
So as I pondered these events, I learned many things.
1) If you’re doing something good, you MUST have doubters.
It’s one thing to quote this line. It’s another thing to remember it when in the midst of doubters.
At a gut level, I knew this. But, it’s something you have to be constantly reminded of.
When you’re doing something good, you’re going to have doubters.
There are dualities in everything! When there is good, there is bad. When there is certainty, there is doubt. When there is love, unfortunately there is hate.
So rather than saying, “Hmmm, they’re doubting me… maybe I’m not what I thought” … you say, “I can check that off the list. A few doubters… check! That let’s me know I’m doing good!”
2) Respect others’ opinion but don’t let it alter yours
There’s this phenomenon called “social proof” and it’s very powerful.
As humans, we rely on others to make various decisions we are unsure about.
If you’re at a fast food place and don’t know whether to leave your finished meal on the table or find the nearest disposal area, you’ll look around and see if others have left their meal on the table. If you find a few that have, you’ll leave yours.
That’s social proof.
It can be very helpful in shortcutting decisions in various situations.
It becomes bad when you let others make you think differently about yourself. Especially when you know WHO you are and WHAT you are capable of!
That goes for music and everything else!
3) Be certain
If you’ve done good, you’ve done good. If you’ve done bad, you’ve done bad.
Don’t let doubt worry you!
Pick a feeling, and simply stick with it.
Honesty is important here.
You’re not talking yourself into something false. You’re simply coming to grips with whatever is making you feel negative.
Doubt has a way of tearing at you. Because you keep thinking of the same thing over and over like a broken record.
That’s why you hear people saying things like, “You have to BE, before you can HAVE.”
You have to become the person, the musician, the professional you want to be even before you become it.
And you can’t become that person if you’ve got doubt running rampant in your mind.
If you’re nowhere close to becoming that person, you need to come to grips with that and put together a solid plan that will get you closer. If you believe in your heart you’re that person, throw away doubt and walk in confidence! And that lesson is for me too! :-)
Athletes must always believe they can win… even if they’ve lost the last 12 games. The past is never indicative of the future.
Boxers must always believe they can get a knockout. There’s no room for doubt or they shouldn’t be in the ring (that’s where self-honesty comes in).
So the next time you’re faced with a similar situation, remember this post!
Jermaine
P.S. – My wife and kids were glad I brought back the title and a $6000.00 vacation. Hmmm, where should we go?
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{ 110 comments… read them below or add one }
Hey Jermaine,
You rocked it man! Love the follow up post too. Excellent points to remember.
I’ll drop you an email so we can connect.
Brad
Hey Brad, thanks for the comment and a pleasure meeting you there. Looking forward to connecting.
JG
I am very encouraged after reading a note on doubt, knowing I also had doubts about becoming a very good musician, i am also a singer so i am trusting God to anoint me so I can play and sing so his Name will be glorified.May God continue to bless you in what you are doing, congrats in your achievement.
Great post as usual Jermaine! Go to the bahamas. I wish I could!
You should come to the East Coast and pass some of that money my way! :-)
Hey Jermaine–You would have had my vote if I were there!!!
I believe in and support what you do. You are a blessing!!!
Congratulations. So glad you and music won.
Jermaine, congratulation to you. You are a winner and a motivator.God bless you, your family and the Hear and play family.
Dubai!!!
Dear Mr. wyser; I like very much the course, I think they are fastastic, writh now I want for the time been, Gospel Sound 2, Downd by the river side, can you tell me, how can I get it, Antonio
Hey Jermaine,
I met you briefly as I was leaving Infusioncon early (before the verdict!) to catch a flight home. You were hanging out with Bob outside, most likely contemplating whether or not you won Ultimate Marketer. I just wanted to say congratulations and it sure sounds like you deserve it. Man, you are the master! AND you have a wonderful product! I’ll look for you at the next Infusion gathering to congratulate you in person!
Nicole, I never doubted he would take the prize home! There was, in my view, nothing to contemplate :)
Hey Jermaine,
A friend sent me the link to the video of that event. You’re talk was great.
Forget about all those cry babies ;)
Marshall
Jermaine,
Nice work there up on stage – you know how to slingggggggg it with Infusionsoft.
Keep crushing it bro.
Andy
Hi Jermaine,
Are you referring to this conference ==> http://infusioncon.com? I looked for your name in the speakers list. Congratulations ! I would like to read more about your speech. Is there a link somewhere ?
Hi Jermaine,
Congratulations on winning the “Business Person of the Year Award.” It is good to see a young man successful, and doing something positive for the glory of God. Keep up the good work. May God’s grace, mercy, peace, and blessings be upon you, your family, and your ministry as your follow him through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Congratulations! I loved your thoughts above. It is giving me the incentive to believe in myself instead of listening to those who tell me I can’t do it. Blessings -
Congratulations, Jermaine! Great thoughts on dealing with doubt!
Wow what an awesome story!!! Congrats!!!
Congratulations Jermaine. Future success and blessings
Jermaine,
Thank you for Sharing this Wonderful Story. Yes, we need to work with Plus & Minus ions.To this Day, Scientist do not understand the theory. They just know that it works.We can not do anything about the Birds flying around our head’s, but we can prevent them from nesting. God Bless You and your Wonderful Family.
Your Friend in Pennsylvania
Rick Blocher
A great post Jermaine! Doubt is a horrible thing to grapple with! So next time I doubt I’ll think of your wonderful post! And congratulations on winning the award and enjoy your vacation! You do great work and the world is better for it!
Thanks so much Jermaine. I play for my church and today our sound system went out on us. It sounds like the speakers are blown. There were those that still continued to get into the praise and then there were others that didn’t even budge except to go to the bathroom. I want my playing to be anointed and I need to push away from the basic chords only and apply some more advanced technic.
Congratulations, you deserve it.
Anna
Hi Jermaine
I am extremne happy to know that you won. It is a blessing for one to be successful in everything the put their hands to. May the CREATOR of heaven and earth continue to be with you. When i noticed the prize money of USD$6000, I said to myself immediately I only need USD$1000 to purchase your entire products line.
Kindest Regards
Mark
Emotions could always be manipulated and could get you anywhere while it lasts, but when you speak in a way that resonates with your beliefs, you would always project the real you and that is what you always do in your teachings. I see you in all your deliveries and I easily reflect you. You are born to inspire and gifted to teach. God bless you Dr. J
This is a lesson in deed, I feel great to be associated with you through hear
and play and I’m proud of you. Thanks teacher.
Congratulations, Jermaine!
You are very deserving of your reward. Many people are swayed by an emotional appeal, but most judges view content and weigh facts. Your judges saw through the emotion and judged the proof they knew should win!
Self-doubt, that old devil, will be around. “Resist the devil, and he’ll flee from you,” the Holy Bible tells us. God is true and just. Keep on keeping on, you are a winner in may ways!
Judith
Congratulation! I´m proud of you and to be your student. I urge you to come to Iceland ;)
All my best. Sigurborg
I enjoyed your blog jermaine and truly thank God for you and shat you do. Your message about doubt really hit home for me, and doubt may be the biggest thing that stands between me and the next level. I will keep in mind the three things you mentioned in your blog, and I hope to see you at the top.
Congratulations Germaine
Thanks for all the encouragement.You deserve to win.I thank God for you.
Jermaine, thanks so much for sharing this. You definitely deserve to win that title. You have a vision of seeing people improve beyond what your product can offer and not on fattening your pocket. Keep doing what you’re doing because it’s working for all of us!
Gratefully yours, Mario
P.S. – I need to practice more & regularly because confidence can only come when the mind and body works in tandem. Thanks again.
Hey Jermaine, thanks for that; for that’s one of lives test for advancement. I have also come to understand that friction is apart of life. For example, an automobile engine must produce friction in order to function, that’s way engine oil is recommended for every engine. If the oil is not change when due, engine damage can occur; the same is true if doubt, low-self esteem and negativity is not vented. Congratulation Jermaine.
Hi Jermaine, just was reading and I thought of you to se what was on your page. Wow, DOUBT!!! Well, I don’t feel so bad now that I’ve read your letter and I’m so happy for your win. I’m taking in everything you said about doubt and transforming my approach doing everything with a positive win even if I’m not there yet. Thanks my man, Kenny
Hi Jermanie, Congratulations, you are so deserving. I have been faced with those kinds of comments many times, but I have always remained positive in my thoughts, because I know who I am, and who’s I am, committed dedicated to the work and glory of God. Sometime you have to encourage yourself, because others will put doubt in your mind if you allowed them to still your joy. Thank you for the inspiration and message.
Gwendolyn Dianne Embree
Congratulations Jermaine.Your article has reached me at a very appropriate time.
I did not sleep all night last night.I was eaten up by doubt and nearly made the decision this morning to never play music again.Thank you for sharing.
A great message, no doubt (pun intended ;)
Well done Jermaine – Come to New Zealand for your family holiday – it is a beautiful country – small but perfectly formed.
Meg
Great story, Jermaine. Congratulations for your win!
You have helped me to restore some of my self confidence .
Thanks,
Norma
congratulation,please come to seychelles
rama
congratulation.
a gold in your story
Jermaine God bless you on your win, you have help me so much.
If I know you enough Jermaine, I believe you did this for JESUS. You allowed your light shine before a 1000 persons who will glorify the Father in heaven. The global music family is so proud of you. God bless.
Hi Jermaine,
Congratulations
I am spreading your name to everyone that shows an interest in music
I think you should go to Jamaica, it was the best vacation my wife and I had, that was for our 25th anniversary we are now at our 34th anniversary in Dec this year. Have a great holiday where ever you go.
Blessings,
Jim Brohman
Orangeville, Ontario, Canada
Congrats Jermaine and thank you for your help to all aspiring musicians. I had a similar experience in playing recently that made me doubt about my playng ability. know what, I just kept the faith and the next time I played for church it was some of my best ever. Thanks for all your help and god bless your work and family.
Praise God! There is even more in store for you. keep up the good work.
jamaine you are
the man.thanks
for the article it
has really mortivated me.
Congratulations, Jermaine! With God all things are possible. Just trust in Him. Remember: No good thing will He withhold from those who walk upright. Enjoy yourself and give thanks!
Jermain, that’s so beautiful!
Congratulations and congratulations!(for both de awards:-)
Wow Jermaine !! , this is truly a sign. This has been a sticking point for me and had actually been on my mind all week (Doubts and the dreaded “Shoulds”) . I am so glad that you put that out there . I can relate 100% and this helps tremendously.. Continued blessings brother!
Great, love it. If you haven’t been to Hawaii go there.
That post is awesome. We just have to believe in ourselves, know who we are, be confident of what we know.
As per the holiday please come to Kenya and enjoy the nature, wildlife, good weather etc
My wife is a travel consultant, she can sought you on that.
Good weekend
Powerful, Powerful, Powerful and again thank you so much J G love what you do Stay Blessed!!!!!!
Griggs mate
That was very inspiring. It relates to some experience i have encountered learning to play music the proper way. I struggled initially to play. However some guys i know has been learning the same runs all their life would laugh at me. I took my time and follow your lead(J.P wow). well they qre watching me now and becoming nervous when i am around. Cheers Mate(FROM ENGLAND) for dispelling doubt from the doubters. KEEP ON GOING jG/JP.
Thank God for your vision Jermain. you are a”A” class Business man and a real gentleman.
See you guys in the club.
Big up (Jamaican)
Kind regards
Bryan
iam learning to play iam keep up ok lorraine
Congratulations!
Go to Fiji!
http://www.mytripblog.org/pg/blog/asmith8?offset=20
This so gret men.from now ill be confident.thanks
Jermaine God has His hands on your life. You cared enough to put the people first people can sense that you shared with them an experience that created in them a drive an inspiration that said to them “yes you can do it too” you motivated them other speakers made them cry- some made them laugh but you gave them what they needed as a good soldier to continue the fight thats what they- needed and thats what they got –you my brother dispelled thier DOUBT — GOD BlESS you and keep you is my prayer
Praise the Lord Jesus! That’s a great story and it’s true that doubt really pulls us away from our objectives if we allow it to enter into our hearts and minds.
I believe the good Lord is blessing you for all the help you’re extending. You may not know it but our church is enjoying our praise and worship because I’ve just gained my confidence to play the keyboard in our Sunday worship and it really makes a big difference. Though I still have a lot to learn I am confident with God’s grace to improve even better. Even if my message comes infrequently I really appreciate all the advices and lessons you generously imparted to me. Thank you.
Hey Jermaine, nice post. Congratulations for the win. For the Holiday, welcome to my country Kenya, Mombasa city, you get to see so much. And if you come, be sure to link up with me. Happy New Year.
Congratulations to you and to all of us, your students. We believe in the right method of improving our play and we can feel like winners. And we just can’t feel like winner, we are winners, we prevented a lot of boring and expensive lessons and took the intelligent shortcut called “hearandplay.com”. Jermaine, you did and you still do the right thing and so we do. So one fact is sure: This award would’t have been possible, if you were not able to satisfy your students continously and make your company to the best known websites for musicians who want to play by ear. And not only in the US, let me tell you that I’m living in Germany (near Hamburg) and I’m not a native speaker. And there are some differences in the name of notes in sheet music. The “b” in the US-scales is calles “h” in Germany! “b” in germany means “h flat”! So by listening to your lessons I improve my English especially the music-expressions.
So if you find a mistake in my English, you can keep it ;-)
Keep on playing and teaching in 2012
Greetings from the town of Heide (which has Europes largest market-place.)
Mr. Jermaine, you’ve done it again! I also was going through—and almost let people get the best of me…………………….saying things like why do he keep going up to that piano, he can’t even play? It even got so bad that i almost threw in the towel. I was so frustrated already about how i was playing; I knew it wasn’t good enough, but to hear other people say something about it was very hurtful! But see the difference is now i don’t have the spirit of fear! God has really been working on me and it is important that i learn this because, ITS FOR GOD! WHAT GOD HAS FOR ME IT IS FOR ME— TO GIVE IT BACK TO HIM, and in doing that, i’ve taken the people OUT of the equation! Thanks again Jermaine, God Bless you man and CONGRADULATIONS!
Hey Jermaine, its all God and to him he gets all the glory! When you let God drive your car (meaning your life) he will bring favor upon favor among men! Love You my bro. keep moving forward!
Hey Jermaine, Great post man! Very Inspirational!
P.S. you should take a trip to an island!
Peace & Love!
Jermaine, thanks! This was a great article and so true. Very inspirational!
My 1St Time Commenting on your Website Just Wanna sat your A Very Inspirational Musician That opened me up into Music.Congrats too.Peace
Dear Jermaine, That was the most inspirational Post I’ve read this year.I am a older beginner ,well I won’t say beginner I’ll say I’m a Begin-mediate(new word),and I have been doubting myself for a while but after reading your articale I have been greatly inspired. I thank GOD for you,be blessed and keep up the good work.Blessing to all your family and to the hear and play staff as well.
Hey JG, Congrats, I dig the positive nature of all your comments.
When I was a young man I read a book called Think and Grow Rich, by Napolean Hill which started me on the road of Positive Thinking and I never strayed from it and I have been very successful even with doubts and fears growing up. I was real poor as a kid.
My music is taking off and I am performing in restaurants and clubs, singing and playing keyboard and having a ball,.
Thanks for all your help.
John D. Archimede
Thanks for that. I know it to be all too true and you just solidified it for me. I would like to add that when no one is around and you have accomplished something, YOU yourself become your own doubt”er”.
btw, Congratulations on all of your achievements, well deserved.
I enjoyed reading this article. It was very inspiring and it applies to so many things in life that we strive to pusue. Thank you for sharing.
Your article was very exciting and clear. Put your goal on the altar in the name of Jesus and leave it there, if there is doubt of not being successful in music. There is one thing I need is work to improve the left hand. Jacob
I was so thrilled to read this Jermaine. I believe God is pleased with you because you want to see people succeed in there musical dreams so much.
Because you have given so much to the community now it was time for the community to give back to you.
We love you and thank you for all you are and do!
Thanks man for the statement ” you have to be before you can have” i’ll stick to those words cause it applies to some things in my life. And may God continue to bless you and your household.
U go, boy:)
Congratulations! Jermaine I would go to Isreal where the Bible comes alive & enjoy your family. Take a break you deserve it. I would if i had a chance
Thanks Jermaine for sharing such an enlightenment of wisdom that I will surely treasure and most certainly benefit from in my own personal life. Congrats on your victory, and enjoy that well earned vacation much.
Hey J,
I heard you speak and know how well you rock the house — so I’m not surprised. This GREAT advice. It’s so easy to let a few critics and haters deflate my confidence. You are a teriffic role model for enterpenuers. You produce fantastic products. And you consistently over-deliver on your promises. To top it off, you are a genius marketer! All success to you, bro!
— Jim Healthy from http://www.30daydiabetescure.com.
Jermaine
Thank you for being such a Good inspiration.I will never forget this lesson for the rest of my life.
Jermaine, U’ve contributed to my life beyond words, I sincerely appreciate ur effort. Bravo!
Congrats to you Jermaine! God is good all the time, and all the time God is good!!! Give Him the praise!!!
Thanks for the encouraging words. I’m going through some things right now and having difficulty finding the motivation to move forward with it because of all the critics, or “doubter” as you put it.
Congratulations# Jermaine u have been a blessing to me and am so grateful. I love this post.
congratulations ! simply beautiful, keep up the good work.
Congratulations Jermaine! Well deserved! Your business, life, and ministry are an example to many!
Thank you, Jermaine! Very well spoken — and I needed to hear that today! Almost made ME cry!
TK
This was AWESOME. Words of encouragement and self truth will always go a long way.
Thanks again
David
Jermaine,
WoW! What a great story. I know doubt to well for it has visit me morer than I care to count. Thank you for thoes encouraging words. Once doubt creep in for a moment it always a good feeling when it only for a moment. I like that statement respect other opionion but dont let their opionion alters your. Awesome what a word for me. Next time I am face with a situation concerning others opionion I will defintely keep your story in mind. Congratulation! Thanks Jackie
that’s amazing Jermaine, you know what! about the vacation “Huwai”. thanks a lot
> Congratulations Jermaine: As one of your students at Hear and Play, I know the quest never ends, even for a 70 yr. old Pianist who is recently determined to learn how to play Gospel Piano. You are a great encouragement.
congratulations
Congratulations! On winning!
You do just fine Jermaine. Keep in mind JESUS had doubting Thomas and a group that traveled with Him for 3 1/2 years who didn’t get the message at first. Plus the most sucessful and smartest was judas who sold JESUS for thirty pieces of silver. (never got the msg. as he destroyed himself with his own hands). doubt is something of satan the father of all lies. So when ou get that doubt thing going on remember who is pushing it on you. Tell him to get thee behind me!!!!!
Keep up the good work!!!!! and GOD bless!
Next time you wanna go on vacation, consider Indonesia as a good place to go. Maybe, you could make a seminar here someday. Well, God bless you, Jermaine.
You touched on the topic I have been struggleing with for the past week. Thank you for reconfirming to me that I do not need social proof to go in the right direction. I have to maintain the mindset and confidence to get there. Thanks
Congratulations! So glad you won this prestigious award and a vacation to boot! You deserve it! God is good and He honors those who honor and lift Him up. Keep up the good work and all that you are doing to teach and train new and seasoned musicians and singers.
If you want to talk about staying positive against all odds, about knowing what you’re about and sticking to it, about having a vision and seeing it flourish….go visit Israel. The country is a miracle of determination and love.
Dear jermaine,
congrantulations and thanks for sharing your thoughts. reminded me on James, 1,6 so that we are in god´s eyes already the person we want to be as long as we are living with him.
Splendid, that was great Jermaine. Personally am so encouraged feeling more like David facing Goliath in various ramification of life. Great man you are. More of Gods blessing on you.
Amazing!!!! Thanks
Dear Jermaine,
Congratulations & Well Done !
cheers
Steve Holliday
Thanks Jermaine, I really appreciate all the things you have posted on my wall.
Dear Jermaine, very glad for you! Well done!
Hi Jermaine I am encouraged because i have always doubt my self in playing with that fear of pressing the wrong note.
I thought I had reached the apex of the post when I read “…They were coming here to learn how to have successful, prosperous businesses and I believed I dug deep…” because to me, if that was your goal and you “delivered” than you did what you came to do and I for one always get value from anything you put out, so trust me, that speaks volume to people, just that alone, but what you even did in writing this post was great because I can assure you Jermaine, there are people who would have given up their attempts at music if it weren’t for people like you.
I was one of those, one who lost 20+ years because I had given up, but I’m back and accomplishing much in learning. I’m still not performing, but since I cannot find anyone to work with, I’m just steady preparing to eventually be able to accompany myself so that I don’t have to rely on other musicians. It’s posts like yours that reminds me that the most successful people have had to grapple with doubt and lack of support and they continued to clime. So many blessings to you Jermaine. I hope you and your family reap all the rewards of your hard work. You very well deserve it.
“Anj”
Hi Jermaine, in Jamaica we say “what is fi yuh, caan be unfi yuh”. What God has for you, has to be yours, cannot be someone else’s. Congratulations. You should come here, great white sand beaches; lovely 5 star hotels; tropical fruits, beautiful sunshine….hmmm, so?
Thank you, I really needed to read this today it really encouraged me. Blessings Rhnda
Mr Griggs this is truly motivational. Keep up the good work you’re doing.
God bless you and yours.
jammaine this is incredible. i believe i’m a MUCISIAN!
Great. My sister is an artist, she always says, without doubt, you can’t make art. You need it to get the best out of you. I believe so as well.
Where to go? The Netherlands. You will love Amsterdam. I show you around when you go.
Bas